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You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More…
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You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life (original 1960; edition 2011)

by Eleanor Roosevelt (Author)

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4301157,703 (3.95)21
I didn't enjoy this as much as I expected to, as I do somewhat consider myself an Eleanor Roosevelt fan. The book occupies some sort of space between a collection of personal essays and a self-help/self-improving book, and that in-betweenery didn't really work for me. Also, while I can certainly deploy my brain in one of its many intended uses and filter out what is good and useful here from what no longer feels relevant and/or now smacks of hurtfulness (teach children to cry to themselves in the bath so as not to bother others with their personal upsets?!), there was just a little too much I had to filter out for this to be a fully enjoyable read. Still, some good stuff here. Worth the read, if not as great a read as I'd hoped. ( )
  lycomayflower | Sep 30, 2018 |
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Just delightful. While some observation or advice is very particular to the time, most of it is timeless. The passages worth remembering or referencing later filled three typed pages. Fear -- the Great Enemy; The Uses of Time; The Art of Maturity; Readjustment is Endless; The right to BE an Individual were chapters I found ripe with wisdom.

"I never can understand why so many people are afraid to live their own lives as they themselves think is right. You can get rid of your neighbors but you cannot get rid of yourself, so you are the person to be satisfied." (125)

This time through I read a library copy. I know I need one of my own. ( )
  rebwaring | Aug 14, 2023 |
Timeless advice. ( )
  eringill | Dec 25, 2022 |
If you have anxiety, do yourself a favor and read this book.

I was deathly bored at a job once and found this YouTube channel (do yourself a favor and check it out sometime). On that channel I found this video . It was fascinating to watch this legendary woman-- the woman who, from all I had read, reinvented the role of first lady (Dolley Madison seemed to focus more on entertaining than charitable and other causes). She was poised, perfectly calm in front of the camera, and seemed to be full of wisdom.

I found this book to reflect the same. There are a couple of phrases that reveal the gap in years and customs--- in-house help and some words used to define some roles. But, nevertheless, she writes with experience and sense. The entire book is, in a way, an answer to Roosevelt's own life and growth. To summarize her own account, she struggled greatly with fear and uncertainty. But she conquered it and the entire book is a brief account of her victories. Again, to return to the woman in front of the camera, she is relaxed, genuine, and confident--- a perfect example of her own example. ( )
1 vote OutOfTheBestBooks | Sep 24, 2021 |
A nonfiction piece by the former First Lady. I love the point she makes about learning through every thing you do, but much of what she says feels dated and elitist. She talks about how to train your servants and things like that, which obviously is not applicable to most people. Good to read, but take it with a grain of salt. ( )
  bookworm12 | Jan 18, 2020 |
I didn't enjoy this as much as I expected to, as I do somewhat consider myself an Eleanor Roosevelt fan. The book occupies some sort of space between a collection of personal essays and a self-help/self-improving book, and that in-betweenery didn't really work for me. Also, while I can certainly deploy my brain in one of its many intended uses and filter out what is good and useful here from what no longer feels relevant and/or now smacks of hurtfulness (teach children to cry to themselves in the bath so as not to bother others with their personal upsets?!), there was just a little too much I had to filter out for this to be a fully enjoyable read. Still, some good stuff here. Worth the read, if not as great a read as I'd hoped. ( )
  lycomayflower | Sep 30, 2018 |
Short but interesting. She sounds like someone I would have liked to know. And some of her comments are surprisingly apt for the 2nd decade of the 21st century. ( )
  infjsarah | Mar 11, 2017 |
The former First Lady and social activist gives worthwhile practical advice for everyone. Several of her core principles remain current in the philosophy of mindfulness, which she apparently adopted through experience. Her compassion for ordinary people and social justice shines here throughout. We now live in an age when principled leaders like her have been replaced by hardened economic materialists and even corporate criminals, making her vision even more important than ever. ( )
  bkinetic | Feb 14, 2017 |
Although some of the information is a little dated, largely this is an interesting and informative read on her philosophy of life and how to live a good life. It's like listening to a wise older woman who doesn't take your nonsense and will not brook any poor me-ing. She's quite interesting and occasionally shows where she fell down, but believes whole-heartedledy in learning from mistakes and keeping going.

It's a book I would press into the hands of my nephew and tell him to use it for living.

She is interesting and wise and has a great way with words.

From page 111 ""We are facing a great danger today - the loss of our individuality. It is besieged on all sides by pressures to conform: to a standardized way of living, to regognized - or required- codes of behaviour, to rubber-stamp thinking. But the worst threat comes from within, from a man's or a woman's apathy, his willingness to surrender to pressure, to "do it the easy way," to give up the one thing that is himself, his value and his meaning as a person - his individuality."

No different now than in 1960

The above is also a good sample of her writing. ( )
  wyvernfriend | May 20, 2015 |
I read the 1960 copy from my library and am glad to say that is has been reissued for a new generation. This is a remarkable book and I wish I could have been Ms Roosevelt's friend; she was so wise and helpful in her description of life and how to handle it. She is candid about the things she did wrong in her immaturity, and not knowing enough before being married. Having 5 children and no help, as women today in her situation would, she learned uses of her time, how to keep up with her own interests and activities,and how to stay focused when 5 children are playing around you. She speaks of maturity and the need to eliminate faults in yourself even though others may not see or know them. Her adjustment after the death of her husband were required by circumstances and she learned to fill her alone time properly, knowing that she would be better off not focusing on her loneliness.
I recommend this book highly to anyone who needs a reason to look at life lovingly and with a passion to be all that God made us to be. It is full of wisdom that is never old, and always within reach if our goal is to grow in a mature way. ( )
  bakersfieldbarbara | Jan 20, 2014 |
Lots of plain speaking, good advice that's been written by someone who's got the actual experience to provide counsel. What most struck me about this book is whilst it was published in 1960, the circumstances she writes about are still very relevant. ( )
  tandah | Jan 10, 2014 |
Life for Dummies this book ain't. Television programming and bookstore self-help aisles are filled to overflowing with Dr. Phil and Dr. Larura and Oprah and on and on and on. Entertainment, disguised as advice or direction, is a multi-million dollar industry. In such an immediate gratification, consumer driven world, Eleanor Roosevelt may seem dated and square. But she's just what the doctor ordered.

Purposed as a way to answer thousands of letters written to her with pleas for advice or wisdom, Roosevelt has composed a primer on living which would do us all good to read and keep close to our hearts. Her book is not filled with checklists or cutesy, life-affirming cliches but is bursting with soulful, and often, convicting perspectives on life and living. Though the subjects might seem to run to the mundane, like "The Uses of Time" or "Learning to Learn", Roosevelt scratches deeper, suggesting a way of life, a goal for character, rather than mere courses of action calculated to deal with a specific symptom of larger ills.

What Roosevelt proposes with each chapter is a different facet of the same life, a life of responsibility, conviction, honor, and perserverance. The chapters, building on one another, are constantly focused on how an individual must be prepared to engage in constant and honest self-examination, to take responsibility for their own lives and choices, and to view each choice in the context of how it affects other people and the country as a whole. A good deal of what Roosevelt proposes suggests a course of education for our country's children which is more home and family focused than traditional public education. She asserts that a good deal of a child's preparation for life should entail developing self confidence, establishing the ability to think and reason, and learning proper social interaction, rather than attempts at filling a child's head with endless facts and figures or vocations. Though her advice is sometimes aimed at parents, the values are the building blocks for the way of life she advocates and are, therefore, useful to anyone of any age.

Roosevelt's simple writing style allows her thoughts to pierce without obstacle. She uses the difficulties of her early years and later public life to demonstrate the process of life, and in so doing, avoids any possibility of pride or self agrandizement. What shines through is Roosevelt's earnest and humble character, a character that is easy to know yet difficult to emulate.

Read this book and then read it again. I took page after page of notes in my journal, reaching for the pencil as my heart was constantly quickened by Roosevelt's insight.

5 bones!!!!! Another one which will make my list of favorites for the year. ( )
4 vote blackdogbooks | Mar 22, 2009 |
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